you

i don't want porn alright.
it's too accessible.
don't need it. don't want it.
can do without.
but where are you?
so hard to get.

don't know

sometimes, you just don't know. and you admit it. but quick, act upon it. move ahead. refresh.

gotta get things out

today is the first day of two thousand and six. sounds like we've come a long way from the time things seemed old and impossible. we'd like to think there's so much more to achieve. indeed, i watch people ascend from frame to frame, sometimes pausing to admire some graceful mid-air stills. other things are dimmed for a moment, even myself. there shall be no dust particles coming into view but light eternal that maintains its value. return, escape, delete, control, home...how would we move on without these simple keys. it's so difficult to gauge and express how much i've actually moved or grown. relativity matters to me. so that means how much the people i know have grown and moved ahead does matter.

watching the fireworks break over Bandar Utama's night sky was beautiful. * the view from Chris' room was spectacular and the fireworks just kept coming for quite a long while. couldn't help being amazed. Chris in his towel wrapped round the waist and wet, the mattress heating up under the lap top, and mum almost torn away from what she was doing by the luring explosive calls of something which beauty her sons exaggerated. but it was beautiful. so there, See Hoy Chan's empire. The airspace and below, lit up with the afterglow of pyrotechnics.

in my silent husk, i've received love and concern. toys and mail. precious complexities and simple things alike. i wonder how idleness could hurt and destroy my surroundings. ah, when i fail to extract its true value. oh, when i can hardly forget them anyway.

tsk, and u shall not receive.

picture this: a blue sunset,
when wishes aren't met,
and if you're still around,
i said i won't let you down,
tomorrow i could only do
so much better with you,
{dreams left to fairytale off...}


my father said
"we have been together twenty four years,
the Lord and I;
it is like a marriage."

That's love right there.

the soul is a weeping bowl

when the heart aches
the soul is a weeping bowl
and i grow out of control

when the heart breaks
the soul is a leaking bowl
and i grow out of control

and i will send you home
and i will send you home
yes i will send you home
(repeat)

if when the heart breaks, the soul is weeping

oh jamie...

in These are the days, 2:23-2:35. twentysomething.
tender yet strong.
if only...but if only...
...i caught you in a rushofbloodtothehead.
scrambled heart. broken yolk. ain't sunny side up.

stranger to speak

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